The Holidays are here! (and Ava can participate!)

OKAY so i am totally nuts about the holidays! basically any reason to CELEBRATE i love. I love getting in the spirit, being festive, i totally listen to christmas music a week before thanksgiving and i secretly appreciate all the stores putting out their xmas decorations before halloween...just makes it last longer! I love the pumpkin spice lattes and the egg nog, i love a reason to throw a party, drink more, sing more, have holiday outfits, boots, rain, snow, waking up to a freezing house and having a reason to wear UGG boots all day long.
i LOVE this time of year!

And i also LOVE that my daughter is old enough and aware enough to see, smell, taste, hear all the beautiful things this time of year brings. she is fascinated by xmas twinkle lights and im sure she will rip every one of those ornaments off the tree. she loves the music i play in the car (we have officially programmed every station that plays xmas music...107.9 will have to wait!) and i have watched xmas themed movies atleast 5 times so far...and its not even DECEMBER!

We wear our boots and hats and have a cozy blanket in the car :) We go out to coffee and she gets her vanilla milk.

In addition to all the festivities, we get more and more FAMILY TIME:) I love how we all get together, chris and I are married and each year I feel like our families blends more and more. He actually called my Dad "Dad" the other day. he didnt mean to, but i liked it :)

Life is great, we feel so blessed.

LOVE.

I love my Family with all my heart. ♥

♥

Play pen or Jail?

We got a playpen for Ava this week, and for a kid who has never liked her crib or any kind of confinement I was a little wary of how she would react to this. Still a little on the fence (no pun intended) about this play pen concept. I understand needing to contain your little one at times when you need to...God Forbid...take a shower or do dishes, but is it worth it?

I dont want her to feel like its a jail. But I do want her to have a safe and cushy environment to play. And frankly, our 2 bedroom duplex is only so baby proofed. We have the cabinet locks and the outlet covers but if I step on ONE MORE TOY in the middle of the night and re-roll a roll of TP or put back all her shoes and socks that she pulled out .... i think I might have to give up on housekeeping all together!
So, chris picked up some cushy foam letters playmat and a play yard gate from Babies r Us, i liked the idea but is it TOO confining?

Halloween 2010

Ava's first official Halloween experience was GREAT! We had a busier schedule than most that day, starting with 3 Costumes:
Halloween morning: Wear your Green Bay Packer cheerleader costume and take pictures for G'ma and G'pa (Diehard Cheeseheads). Change.
Halloween lunchtime: Wear your butterfly costume (in 75+degree weather) to Winco to get a pumpkin and candy for the trick or treaters. Go to Sabrina's party and play in the jumpjump with all the big kids. Go home, take a nap, eat dinner and change.
Halloween evening: Wear your pink Cat costume that daddy bought you for your 1st birthday and grab your candy bucket and go trick or treating!!!!

Ava was SO BRAVE trick or treating for the 1st time. She would hold our hands and walk with us up to the doors with all the other big kids. she would even knock and hold out her bucket! We were out with gma and gpa Jarman for about an hour. Chris was 'Zorro' and I was a Witch with an awesome hat with a bunch of feathers and netting. I loved it.

Ava was adored by every person who opened up their door to give her candy. some even called other people in the room to come see "the cutest little girl ever!"...Chris and I were beaming... :):):)






We made some great memories!

The wedding festivities are coming to a close.

The wedding fun is officially over:(
We're finishing up our thank you cards, we're picking out our photos and unpacked our last wedding gift.
Its sad.

Oh well, i'll just have to wait for Ava's wedding now!
here are some pics. ENJOY!!

Married...with children

So now its official. We're married.
We took vows in front of close family and friends, and most importantly eachother.
Ava was our platform for us to decide...do we jump? or just, be glorified roommates and raise our baby. So, we jumped.
And I must say, it is an amazing, indescribable feeling. So I will do my best:
The morning we woke up after our wedding day, I know we both looked at eachother and thought, 'should we feel different?'. The truth is, although we didnt admit it at the time, we didnt. In fact, I vaguely recall a little tiff over breakfast or who was in charge of cleaning up the reception or how hot the bath water was. We were taken back, this is technically our 'honeymoon' and we're arguing? It made us laugh.
Having a baby first, in a way, thrust us into the realities of marriage. No matter what, we are a team now. We are parents. we are a couple. and we have to fight. fight for US. we have to fight to be heard, to take advantage of every child-free moment to invest in US. We have to fight for romance and affection and communication and understanding and patience. This isn't a Should we or shouldnt we situation, its a 'can you handle it situation.
After a year of raising our daughter, being a couple, being parents, being roommates, being a team, we realized...we jumped a long time ago.
The wedding was our investment in eachother and our lifelong promise. the validation everyone talks about. the validation every parent needs with someone (be a groom or life partner or a best friend.). that we are in this life together, because i love you and choose You and want you. I definitely dont think marriage should have (or could have) happened for us before Ava was born. We needed to both realize the difference between being parents together and being husband and wife. To others, its the same thing. To the couple living it day to day, I can ASSURE you they are not the same thing.
I feel so blessed to have Chris in my life. I couldnt ask for a better life partner, my husband. my best friend. He understands me, he cares, he is honest and loving. The best father to Ava,
The night I looked at those two pink lines and then at chris's brave face and heard his reassuring words, I knew. He did too. We loved eachother. We were fighters and we were going to navigate this crazy thing called life and find our destiny, our fate. We love eachother and I couldnt have asked for a better beginning.
I have all the confidence in the world in us. I love him. He loves me ( God help him) and we are in this together.
For better or for worse.

We're MARRIED!!!

Wedding planning

Wedding planning is exhausting stuff!!
The venue, caterer, dj, photographer, tables and chairs, wedding night suite, dress and invitations are done....now I have to do the flowers, decor, rsvp list, transportation, registry and wedding party details.
whew!
our venue is GORGEOUS. we picked it because it both spoke to us, we both agreed that we pictured ourselves getting married there. Only one drawback, while we want to have every single person we love to be there to witness our special day, we can only have 80 people!! That is my biggest stress right now...the guest list. i am cutting people off the list i have known for 10+ years just so I can accomodate the wedding party and their families, and MY family (just immediate!) and HIS family (just local)! and we are still OVER 100 people. ouch :(

on a better note....chris and i found AWESOME deals to hawaii online.
i am SO tempted.
we really want a honeymoon. I think I am ready to be away from ava for a few days. I will be sooo sad at first but I think the break will be nice...i can't wait to marry chris, and walk down the aisle and say our vows. we made a vow to eachother over a year ago, right before ava was born, and that commitment alone was SO huge and important in our relationship...and it wasnt even "legal"..it was personal, and special, and beautiful and that is exactly what i want our wedding to be.
I want our family to see our love. i want our friends to witness our commitment to eachother and to our families. to take vows and make promises and exchange rings.
I know chris is anxious about his vows, words dont come easy to him, but i know even the most simple vow from him will bring tears to my eyes. he does have a way with words even if he doesnt know it ;)
i got a text from him today randomly...he wrote : "you have a face i never want to stop looking at."
To some people thats cute or whatever, but to me thats Chris..thats the BEST thing to hear from someone that has seen you at your worst and ugliest and fattest pregnant gross, and has also seen you at your best. Its the little things he says that means the world to me.

I am still trying to figure out how to include Ava in our ceremony. She takes 10 steps at a time now...but i dont think she would be able to walk to full aisle in a dress and clunky shoes. (*i wonder if i have to buy an aisle..?) We are including her in our vows for sure, and we have a cute 5 yr old flower girl already, so maybe we will just have to have her wheeled in on a wagon or something. i dont want anyone carrying her.
Something to think about while I am trying to go to sleep at night!

Ava turned ONE!

Ava celebrated her 1st birthday with 40 family and friends at G'ma and G'pas house on Saturday. We had face painting and water play for the kids. it was a blast! Ava wore an adorable navy blue dress with white polka dots and a pink belt. She had her first top-tail pony tail!
It is amazing to me that my little girl is a toddler now. She takes up to 4 steps at a time and loves to walk while holding our hand. Her personality is coming out more and more, she loves to mimic our movements and expressions. Especially "clicking" with our tongue and snapping our fingers. She scrunches her face and snorts to make us laugh. She has my sense of humor for sure. She plays with her voice all the time...squealing, singing, whining, yelling...sometimes at the highest pitch you have ever heard!! we "fake sing" opera together. she loves it. haha.

My baby is almost ONE!

ava has 4 teeth now
she can stand on her own
she is fiesty than ever
no separation anxiety
happy wrists!!
loves cell phones
waves to everyone
says momma and dadda and dog
we dont have a dog
we are moving out of our cottage in the city into an apartment in a "town"...a fancy town called El dorado hills. yaya
ava has curly blonde hair
she likes tofu and bananas and pears
and puffs
ohhhh the puffs win every time
she isnt into tv too much
LOVES music and has rhythm (gets that from mommy!)

I'm a career mom now?

Life is busy with a 10month old that wants to walk and a new job that requires my attention from home!
Now I understand why working momma's need nannies even at home!

I love my new job. I have 90days to prove myself and increase the doctors "clientele" A LOT. Its a lot of pressure, but I welcome the challenge. What I didnt expect was how little I would be able to actually do from home. The whole reason I took this job was because they said I could primarily work from my phone and email. However my daughter finds my phone and computer (and basically anything else I am focused on) very interesting and fun. She can pull herself up to a standing position now and is almost always at my feet or latched to my leg. haha. its actually very cute :)
I LOVE this age. She is so interactive and smiles a lot more now! She isnt a fan of my new job though. It takes the attention away from her.

Our new game plan now that I am working, is to stay local and settle down. Chris is going to join the National Guard or Reserves and go back to school. Hopefully we can buy a house next year. *fingers crossed*

Another big thing coming up is AVA'S 1ST BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!
I am having soooo much fun planning it!
I want to have a caricature artist or a face painter there. we are renting a couple of big white beautiful tents for my parents backyard for some shade. I am going to have a few water games for the kids and also bake cookies and let the kids go nuts decorating! I can't wait.
I still havent decided on a theme. I am thinking about these:
1) FAIRIES. I could have all the kids wear little fairy wings and I could wear a flower wreath on my head. Plus it would be soooo pretty to decorate.
2) Safari Animals. Ava loves giraffes and elephants, we've taken her to the zoo a few times. We have lots of books on safari animals and she has lots of toys too...it would be gender neutral too, fun for everyone.
3) Cupcakes! I had cupcakes at my babyshower, plus i love the cuppycake song. It would be easy to find cupcake decorations and the kids could decorate cupcakes instead of cookies.

What do you think?

AVA UPDATE

2 TEETH COMING IN
EXCEMA EVERYWHERE :'(
CRAWLING MACHINE!
LIKES TO PLAY WITH HER FEET WHILE SHE EATS/NURSES.
WAVES TO EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING
ROLLS HER EYES AT ME NOW. HAHA
GROWLS WHEN HUNGRY
BLOWS RASBERRIES WHEN TIRED
YELLS WHEN FRUSTRATED
ARCHES HER BACK WHEN ANNOYED
LOVES THE WATER
LOVES ANIMALS
WARMING UP TO BANANA'S FINALLY.
HATES PEACHES.
DRINKS WATER FROM A SIPPY CUP.
LOVES TO DRINK GOATS MILK.
EXPERT AT THE PINCER GRASP.
IN 10TH PERCENTILE FOR HEIGHT.
IN 75TH PERCENTILE FOR WEIGHT.
LOVES HER TUMBLETIME CLASS.
SHE OBSERVES KIDS A LOT, NOT ONE TO PLAY AND ROLL ON THEM.
STARES INTENTLY AT PEOPLE WEARING GLASSES.
LOVES TO RIP UP PAPER TOWELS.
FOUND PAPER TOWEL SCRAPS IN HER DIAPER THIS MORNING. HAHA
NOT A FAN OF NAPTIME.
IN THE MIDDLE OF SLEEP TRAINING.
BEGINNING SEPARATION ANXIETY NOW :'(
LAUGHS AT SCARY FACES.

new JOB to tell you about!

This has been an incredible week for me!

A couple weeks ago I interviewed for a Public Relations position at a local Chiropractors office. They needed someone to do promotions and events and stuff for them. My mom told me about it and she said they are looking for someone that is exactly like me and that I should call and see if I could set up an interview. So I did.
I thought this would be a commission type job, make my own hours, work from home etc.
Well I was right about the working from home thing, but I pretty much have to be on call all the time.
They not only offered to pay me a weekly wage, I also earn bonuses for the business I acquire for them.
I looked up PR position on About.com and found out that most PR people make around $70k a year.
Hm. that got me thinking.
So I sat down with the Doctors wife and had her RE EXPLAIN my compensation.
I was ecstatic.
She made it clear to me that she is looking for someone that wants a career and plans on working long term. I agreed and I GOT THE JOB!!!!

I have now attended 2 events and worked at 1. I LOVE this job and the people I work for.
I am so thrilled for the future.
Chris is going to join the Army Reserves and go back to school and I am going to work for the Doctor doing PR.
Life changed so fast and I couldnt be happier!

isnt this a cool mural for a girls room?

well said.

“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.”

Trying new foods!!

So far Ava has been eating great!
We have given her steamed veggies, garlic mashed potatoes, tofu, blueberries, pears, grapes, banana, pasta with cheese and sauce, pesto pasta, black beans, soynut butter and pureed fruit jam sandwich, goats milk, crackers, puffs, pancake, bagel, eggs, waffles and yogurt. she has been eating this way for about a week. straight from our plate sometimes!
she doesnt want to be bothered with puree's anymore. she's a big girl now!

hands clean

black sheep, i know
at least i dont follow
with criticism and ugliness and arrogance and selfishness
self centered motivations
weak people with big fat fingers pointing
look at her! look at him!
talk talk talk talk
work vomit comes to mind.

time to wash my hands clean
done with them
on to my new life
my better life
my happy life.
our happy life.

Push back

Theres this term called "push back" at Sprint (where chris works) when someone in another department thinks they are superior to another employee and challenges them on their policies and decisions. For example; if chris wont upgrade a customer on a new line because they arent eligible, some dude from another department (who would ultimately benefit from the upgrade) "pushes back" and says he can. At the end of the day Chris was right and he doesnt have to do the upgrade.
Lets just say parents of new parents are that "dude in the other department" contantly doing push backs.
Its getting annoying. thats an understatement.
I wouldnt call myself a neurotic mom. i wouldnt call myself and experienced mom. I would call myself, however, a well-read and careful mom. I have allll the information you could ever want on raising babies right at my fingertips. We have internet, blogs, chatrooms, moms clubs, advice nurses, books, pamphlets...it is all basically spelled out for you. and if you are interested enough, you take advantage of all this information and you apply what you want to your childs life and to your own.
Well i dont appreciate the constant "when we were kids.." statements and i certainly do not appreciate it when people push back on my decisions and think they can override them.
It is amazing to me when grown ass adults undermine other parents authority on their own children. WHO'S THE CHILD HERE?
its beyond me.
i've juuuust about had it.


off to therapy i go!

I've been busy!!!

Crawling complicates everything! I never knew I could see every tiny thing in our carpet! I am constantly baby proofing, and redirecting little miss crawler toward something else. Life has been exciting and definitely busier!
Aside from crawling, Ava officially has two teeth showing, she is pickier about what she eats (any suggestions?!) and says MAMA and DADA and NANA and BABA. i dont really know what she means when she says nana and baba...since she doesnt have a "nanna" or take a bottle. hm?
Ava fights with naps. she would rather me hold her than take a nap on her own.
ugh.
we have also been trying to treat her bad case of excema on her cheeks and arms. we are using eucerin lotion after a bath and occasionally i put Hydrocortisone cream on it. Hopefully its not irritating to her.

I am currently looking for a nanny job, I am hoping I get to work for a friend.
Me and Ava are going down south for my cousin's wedding this month, I am really looking forward to going to the beach with her!
Unfortunately Chris cant get the time off of work, so its going to be a girls trip.

 

ohhh my gosh!!!

Such a frustrating day!!!
Stuck in the house...no gas...Ava seems crankier than usual. Oh my goodness!! She is SO cranky!
she refuses to eat, she can't sleep, she is curious and into everything (cords and plugs are her favorite!)..I never let her cry, and today I let her cry for a few minutes in her high chair while I took my last few bites of my soup. Seriously!?
Maybe its because I'm dieting and cranky too....I think I'm on Ava's nerves, I put her in her crib with some stuffed animal friends and she was fine. she was alone in her room for 15 minutes!
sometimes, a girl just needs a minute to herself.

haha.

Is that a little tooth?!

Ava has two teeth now! on the bottom row.

The second one looks like it is coming in a little crooked. we'll see!

She also does other cute things:

she does "rasberries" to herself.

she says "momma" when the phone rings

she smiles ALL THE TIME now

everything goes in her mouth. nothing is off limits.

except for oatmeal.

she loves being outside.

gets confused when music is on. she looks around a lot..."where is that coming from?!"

instead of crawling, she pivots.

HAPPY HANDS!

HAPPY FEET!

loves her Sophie the Giraffe teething toy.

says Momma and Dadda and Babababa. <>

New Blog.

Changing my lifestyle and Losing weight!

this is just going to document it. Hope I don't fail!

check it out:

http://milfproduction.blogspot.com/

Azithromycin

HALLELUJAH!

antibiotics are kicking pneumonia's butt! ava has a little cough but she is sleeping very well and is excellent spirits.

thank goodness.

my beautiful cousin Lyndal came to visit us from Australia.... it was so great to see her and meet her boyfriend David.

pneumonia

Ava is having her first (and hopefully last!) bout with pneumonia.

she is in good spirits still, just restless.

and congested.

go away horrible sickness!

Home remedies that are good to know.

(CBS) Every family has a few home remedies to help with injuries and illnesses, such as sniffing a little cayenne pepper to stop a nosebleed or using meat tenderizer to ease the effects of mosquito bites.

Author Dr. Lillian Beard put together a book of home remedies in her new book, "Salt in Your Sock and Other Tried-And-True Home Remedies."

Beard visited The Early Show to share some remedies she researched for her book.

Throughout the years, as Beard has been practicing medicine, her patients have often told her about home remedies that their mothers or grandmothers taught them to combat different ailments. When she examined whether or not each remedy really worked, oftentimes she would find a basis in science that gave credence to grandma's advice.

Beard has traveled around the world and always asks her patients about the treatments and remedies they use at home. In "Salt in Your Sock," Beard compiled parents' favorite treatments for more than 90 childhood ailments.

For each one, she explains the ailment, the conventional treatment for the ailment, the home remedies parents use and why they work.

Here are just a few:

Fever - Traditional fever lowering medications such as Tylenol and ibuprofen are recommended, but if you cut an ONION in half and place one half on the sole of each foot, it will draw the fever from your body. As more than one parent has demonstrated to Dr. Beard, when the onion turns brown (it's "cooked"), the body temperature has been lowered.

Sore Throat - Gargling with warm SALT water offers relief, reduces swelling, and doesn't allow bacteria to flourish. Gargling with a mixture of one teaspoon of BAYBERRY leaf powder and one teaspoon of GINGER in a cup of room temperature water also takes away the sting of a sore throat.

Stuffy Nose - Periodic misting with two teaspoons of SALT in one cup of room temperature water in a squeeze container keeps the nasal secretions thin enough for you to gently blow them out, and the salt water solution helps to shrink the swollen membranes, clearing the nasal passages for you to breath easier.

Coughing - Coughs result when the body is trying to expel irritants from the respiratory tree. Most over the counter cough medicines attempt to soothe the irritation and dampen the area in the brain, which activates the cough reflex. Easy home remedies include warm tea combinations such as a mixture of SAGE and THYME - It's not only tasty, but also clears out mucus in the throat. LEMON, HONEY and HOT WATER - tried and true in all cultures. Honey is both an anti-inflammatory and an expectorant. Lemon is rich in vitamin C, and hot water soothes and makes it difficult for germs to thrive. But remember, kids under age one shouldn't have honey.

Body Aches - Make warm NUTMEG compresses and apply to aching body areas.

Chest Congestion - Many remedies involve mixing products and putting them on the chest. One old method is devising a "MUSTARD plaster." Dr. Beard's mother used it on her. Her recipe: Mix one part dry mustard with four parts flour, adding just enough water to make it pasty. Put this mixture on a piece of cotton or cheesecloth. Apply a coating of petroleum jelly to the nose, neck and chest, then apply the cloth with the paste, cover with a towel or pillow case and tent the bed-sheet loosely above the patient's head encouraging them to breathe the aromatic air with mouth closed. It's uncomfortable and causes perspiration, but remarkably, it does break up the congestion.

Here are other common products Beard recommends for common ailments:

Aloe Plant: Beard says aloe is good to treat minor burns. Just snap a leaf off and the sap gushes for placing on the burned area.

Cayenne Pepper: Beard says the spice is great for any bleeding point. So, sniff some cayenne pepper for a nosebleed or sprinkle it on bleeding cuts and scrapes.

Brown Paper Bags: Brown paper is also great for bleeding. Place a piece of a brown paper bag on a bleeding point. Beard says it works because they have more fibrous material than regular paper. The fiber in the paper causes blood to clot.

Meat Tenderizer: Beard says to use a meat tenderizer for insect bites, which reduces swelling and takes away itch.

Baking Soda: There is another use for baking soda, according to Beard. It is great to take away an itch. She says it's wonderful for hives. Just mix with a little water to form a paste. Bathing in a baking soda bath is also very effective for itchiness. She suggests applying three tablespoons of baking soda in a bath. When you get out of the bath, there will be a residue left on your skin. Leave it there and just pat dry.

Oatmeal: The oats soothes itching, Beard says. Make an oatmeal mask and let it sit on your face for five minutes if you have a little sunburn or sunkissed face. Then rinse with cold water. Beard says the process takes away the flushed look, and it is perfect for when you're uncomfortable from the sun.

Vinegar: This is wonderful if you're at the beach and you get a jellyfish sting. First scoop up sand and rub the area with the sand and then put some vinegar on it. Vinegar is also great for swimmer's ear. If you're prone to swimmer's ear (where fluid collects in the outer ear and bacteria grows causing an infection), put a couple of drops of vinegar in each ear before and after swimming. Beard says to use vinegar as a compress if you sprain or strain something. Soak a cloth in vinegar and wrap around the sprain as you compress. It limits swelling and reduces aches. You should also rest, ice and elevate the sprain or strain.

Salt: For earaches, put a cup of salt in the microwave for 2 to 3 minutes. Use coarse salt and dump it into a thick sock. The sock is to prevent burns. Apply the sock to the painful ear and it draws fluid out of the ear. This relieves the discomfort of an earache until you can get to a doctor.

Earl Grey Tea: Beard says a tea bag is great for cold sores. The sun often brings out the virus that causes cold sores. If you're prone to cold sores, the summer often brings it out.

Fluoride Toothpaste: Regular fluoride toothpaste (paste, not gel) is good for acne, according to Beard. Because we perspire more in the summer, oil may clog sweaty pores and cause pimples. Beard says to dab some plain white fluoride toothpaste on the pimple and leave it on overnight.

Onion: Roasted onion mixed with water is good for bruises, says Beard. Put it on the area after a bump. It reduces the likelihood of bruising.

Garlic: Garlic is good for athlete's foot. Rub a clove of garlic on cracked skin. Because of the smell, you'll want to do it in the evening. It's even more effective if you leave it on and put your sock on over it. Afterward, apply a little honey, which helps soothe the skin.

White Potato: White potatoes are good for warts and sties, according to Beard. Use the scrapings of the potato and put it to the area where you have a sty. A sty forms when a hair folicle on your eye gets inflamed. Potatoes are also good for warts because the vitamin C it carries is anti-inflammatory.

Ginger Spice or Peppermint Tea: Good for stomach upsets.

Honey: Beard says honey is an excellent cough suppressant and expectorant.

If there is ever any doubt or concern about a remedy, contact a doctor before using it, Beard recommends.

In the pantry:

Ginger, fresh or powdered

Fruit juice, only naturally sweetened

Garlic

Onions

White potatoes

Oatmeal

Olive oil

Cayenne pepper

Yogurt with live cultures

Black tea bags, such as orange pekoe or Earl Grey

Horseradish or wasabi

Baking soda

Pineapple

Limes

Vinegar

Honey

Parsley

Natural medicinals

• Activated charcoal for food poisoning and gastrointestinal distress
  
  
• Aloe vera gel or juice for minor burns, cuts and scrapes
  
  
• Calendula cream for cuts, scrapes, skin irritations and bruises
  
  
• Chamomile tea, tincture and essential oil for stomachache, insomnia and relaxation
  
  
• Clove essential oil for teething and toothache
  
  
• Fennel tea or seeds for gas and stomachache
  
  
• Lavender essential oil for cuts, scrapes, insect bites, minor burns, insomnia and relaxation
  
  
• Marshmallow tea for sore throats and cough
  
  
• Tea tree oil for nail fungus, yeast infections and acne

Fevers.

Ava's fever peaked around 4am at 101 degrees F. she was SOOO hot to the touch. i stripped her down and used a cool washcloth to pat down her head and body. I don't know how I remembered this waldorf tip.. but put lemon in her socks! i gave her a tiny dose of infant tylenol. she is still warm, but not over 100 degrees now.

Up all night with a sick baby = mommy's heart aching.

i held her for over 3 hours this morning.

she slept on my chest. skin to skin.

my head is throbbing and my eyes are burning. i feel like i need a long cold shower.

i did the nose aspirator thing again. next thing i see is a tiny bit of blood in her runny nose.

throwing nose aspirator thing away.

rubbed vicks baby rub on her chest.

made her cry.

threw that away.

changed her diaper.

dry.

nursed her again.

dry.

dirty bottles. no bottled water.

sent chris to the store.

4 hours later still no chris.

sweaty sick girls with fevers and runny noses.

reality tv.

gross.

microwaved frozen lunch.

gave ava puffs.

she bit her tongue.

crying.

held her.

my lunch is cold now.

so thirsty.

ava is asleep again.

still no chris.

just got a text...

..."want starbucks?"

i fucking love my husband.

A cold has moved into our house

Everyone is sick in our house right now :( mostly miss Ava. she has a really raspy voice from coughing, her nose is super runny and she had a slight fever.

my heart breaks when i see her so uncomfortable.

currently, she is propped up on pillows in the middle of our bed. chris and i are sharing the couch.

ohhh the things you do for your kids.

♥

Will my anxiety go away soon?

I'm going to be very honest and open in this post. It helps to spell out exactly what I am feeling.

Ever since giving birth to Ava I have had moments of intense anxiety. I have to catch my breath sometimes because I get overwhelmed. I have terrible images of something happening to Ava and then what would happen to me after. I've read about new moms hallucinating and having night terrors and even "daydream" about their child dying or being killed or being kidnapped... and just thinking about Ava getting hurt makes me sick to my stomach. I can barely sleep when she is in her crib in her room. all i can think about is someone breaking in through her window and taking her. I have even contemplated sleeping on the floor in her room. Whenever she takes a nap ANYWHERE, even if she doesnt have a blanket or anything near her, I picture her suffocating. Once, I even thought there might be something on the bed that she could breathe in and would get caught in her airway and she would suffocate and die and I wouldnt ever know what happened. I have told chris about my anxiety, and he is very understanding and sensitive about it. But he is sooo much calmer than I am. He NEVER pictures worst case scenario's like that. And now, ever since the day she choked on the barley bar, I find myself having more and more of the mini panic attacks.

Today in the car I was driving along listening to music and I could hear Ava in her carseat playing with her toy. Then we came to a stoplight and I had a bad feeling, all of a sudden without thinking I turned the radio off and spun around in my seat to make sure she was breathing. She was fine! she was sleeping and because i went to check on her so quickly I startled her awake. Is that normal!? To panic, randomly, that your baby stopped breathing or your baby is sick or something?

Its like I have the rational mom on one shoulder and the "everything is going to go wrong mom" on the other shoulder. And i feel at odds with both all the time!

How I feel as a mom is full of contradictions. It makes me so happy and so terrified. It makes me exhausted and energized. Its exciting and scary.

I hope that what I am going through is just new mom jitters and not something more serious.

New Job. New Milestone.

I got a job today! whoo hoo!

I love when I get jobs!

My friend Amber is going to drop her 3 month old daughter off at my house while she goes back to work at a bank. I get to stay home with the girls all day :)

I feel so blessed!

Ava has been really uncomfortable and teething a lot. Her cheeks get so red! I know its not a fever, I dont know why they do that! Anyway, thankfully Ava loves to rest. So we took a 3 hour nap together, then she woke up and played for a little while, then napped again (and i cleaned the house) then she woke up in a great mood and scooted right over to her toy basket and sat there for a while carefully selecting which toys to play with! HOW CUTE!

Then, i see Ava pulling herself up on our entertainment center! she has never done that! conveniently I had my little digital camera in hand and was clicking away. I caught this milestone in action! go mommy :)

I am a little concerned she isnt crawling, but now she is pulling herself up. hmmm...