ohhh my gosh!!!

Such a frustrating day!!!
Stuck in the house...no gas...Ava seems crankier than usual. Oh my goodness!! She is SO cranky!
she refuses to eat, she can't sleep, she is curious and into everything (cords and plugs are her favorite!)..I never let her cry, and today I let her cry for a few minutes in her high chair while I took my last few bites of my soup. Seriously!?
Maybe its because I'm dieting and cranky too....I think I'm on Ava's nerves, I put her in her crib with some stuffed animal friends and she was fine. she was alone in her room for 15 minutes!
sometimes, a girl just needs a minute to herself.

haha.

Is that a little tooth?!

Ava has two teeth now! on the bottom row.

The second one looks like it is coming in a little crooked. we'll see!

She also does other cute things:

she does "rasberries" to herself.

she says "momma" when the phone rings

she smiles ALL THE TIME now

everything goes in her mouth. nothing is off limits.

except for oatmeal.

she loves being outside.

gets confused when music is on. she looks around a lot..."where is that coming from?!"

instead of crawling, she pivots.

HAPPY HANDS!

HAPPY FEET!

loves her Sophie the Giraffe teething toy.

says Momma and Dadda and Babababa. <>

New Blog.

Changing my lifestyle and Losing weight!

this is just going to document it. Hope I don't fail!

check it out:

http://milfproduction.blogspot.com/

Azithromycin

HALLELUJAH!

antibiotics are kicking pneumonia's butt! ava has a little cough but she is sleeping very well and is excellent spirits.

thank goodness.

my beautiful cousin Lyndal came to visit us from Australia.... it was so great to see her and meet her boyfriend David.

pneumonia

Ava is having her first (and hopefully last!) bout with pneumonia.

she is in good spirits still, just restless.

and congested.

go away horrible sickness!

Home remedies that are good to know.

(CBS) Every family has a few home remedies to help with injuries and illnesses, such as sniffing a little cayenne pepper to stop a nosebleed or using meat tenderizer to ease the effects of mosquito bites.

Author Dr. Lillian Beard put together a book of home remedies in her new book, "Salt in Your Sock and Other Tried-And-True Home Remedies."

Beard visited The Early Show to share some remedies she researched for her book.

Throughout the years, as Beard has been practicing medicine, her patients have often told her about home remedies that their mothers or grandmothers taught them to combat different ailments. When she examined whether or not each remedy really worked, oftentimes she would find a basis in science that gave credence to grandma's advice.

Beard has traveled around the world and always asks her patients about the treatments and remedies they use at home. In "Salt in Your Sock," Beard compiled parents' favorite treatments for more than 90 childhood ailments.

For each one, she explains the ailment, the conventional treatment for the ailment, the home remedies parents use and why they work.

Here are just a few:

Fever - Traditional fever lowering medications such as Tylenol and ibuprofen are recommended, but if you cut an ONION in half and place one half on the sole of each foot, it will draw the fever from your body. As more than one parent has demonstrated to Dr. Beard, when the onion turns brown (it's "cooked"), the body temperature has been lowered.

Sore Throat - Gargling with warm SALT water offers relief, reduces swelling, and doesn't allow bacteria to flourish. Gargling with a mixture of one teaspoon of BAYBERRY leaf powder and one teaspoon of GINGER in a cup of room temperature water also takes away the sting of a sore throat.

Stuffy Nose - Periodic misting with two teaspoons of SALT in one cup of room temperature water in a squeeze container keeps the nasal secretions thin enough for you to gently blow them out, and the salt water solution helps to shrink the swollen membranes, clearing the nasal passages for you to breath easier.

Coughing - Coughs result when the body is trying to expel irritants from the respiratory tree. Most over the counter cough medicines attempt to soothe the irritation and dampen the area in the brain, which activates the cough reflex. Easy home remedies include warm tea combinations such as a mixture of SAGE and THYME - It's not only tasty, but also clears out mucus in the throat. LEMON, HONEY and HOT WATER - tried and true in all cultures. Honey is both an anti-inflammatory and an expectorant. Lemon is rich in vitamin C, and hot water soothes and makes it difficult for germs to thrive. But remember, kids under age one shouldn't have honey.

Body Aches - Make warm NUTMEG compresses and apply to aching body areas.

Chest Congestion - Many remedies involve mixing products and putting them on the chest. One old method is devising a "MUSTARD plaster." Dr. Beard's mother used it on her. Her recipe: Mix one part dry mustard with four parts flour, adding just enough water to make it pasty. Put this mixture on a piece of cotton or cheesecloth. Apply a coating of petroleum jelly to the nose, neck and chest, then apply the cloth with the paste, cover with a towel or pillow case and tent the bed-sheet loosely above the patient's head encouraging them to breathe the aromatic air with mouth closed. It's uncomfortable and causes perspiration, but remarkably, it does break up the congestion.

Here are other common products Beard recommends for common ailments:

Aloe Plant: Beard says aloe is good to treat minor burns. Just snap a leaf off and the sap gushes for placing on the burned area.

Cayenne Pepper: Beard says the spice is great for any bleeding point. So, sniff some cayenne pepper for a nosebleed or sprinkle it on bleeding cuts and scrapes.

Brown Paper Bags: Brown paper is also great for bleeding. Place a piece of a brown paper bag on a bleeding point. Beard says it works because they have more fibrous material than regular paper. The fiber in the paper causes blood to clot.

Meat Tenderizer: Beard says to use a meat tenderizer for insect bites, which reduces swelling and takes away itch.

Baking Soda: There is another use for baking soda, according to Beard. It is great to take away an itch. She says it's wonderful for hives. Just mix with a little water to form a paste. Bathing in a baking soda bath is also very effective for itchiness. She suggests applying three tablespoons of baking soda in a bath. When you get out of the bath, there will be a residue left on your skin. Leave it there and just pat dry.

Oatmeal: The oats soothes itching, Beard says. Make an oatmeal mask and let it sit on your face for five minutes if you have a little sunburn or sunkissed face. Then rinse with cold water. Beard says the process takes away the flushed look, and it is perfect for when you're uncomfortable from the sun.

Vinegar: This is wonderful if you're at the beach and you get a jellyfish sting. First scoop up sand and rub the area with the sand and then put some vinegar on it. Vinegar is also great for swimmer's ear. If you're prone to swimmer's ear (where fluid collects in the outer ear and bacteria grows causing an infection), put a couple of drops of vinegar in each ear before and after swimming. Beard says to use vinegar as a compress if you sprain or strain something. Soak a cloth in vinegar and wrap around the sprain as you compress. It limits swelling and reduces aches. You should also rest, ice and elevate the sprain or strain.

Salt: For earaches, put a cup of salt in the microwave for 2 to 3 minutes. Use coarse salt and dump it into a thick sock. The sock is to prevent burns. Apply the sock to the painful ear and it draws fluid out of the ear. This relieves the discomfort of an earache until you can get to a doctor.

Earl Grey Tea: Beard says a tea bag is great for cold sores. The sun often brings out the virus that causes cold sores. If you're prone to cold sores, the summer often brings it out.

Fluoride Toothpaste: Regular fluoride toothpaste (paste, not gel) is good for acne, according to Beard. Because we perspire more in the summer, oil may clog sweaty pores and cause pimples. Beard says to dab some plain white fluoride toothpaste on the pimple and leave it on overnight.

Onion: Roasted onion mixed with water is good for bruises, says Beard. Put it on the area after a bump. It reduces the likelihood of bruising.

Garlic: Garlic is good for athlete's foot. Rub a clove of garlic on cracked skin. Because of the smell, you'll want to do it in the evening. It's even more effective if you leave it on and put your sock on over it. Afterward, apply a little honey, which helps soothe the skin.

White Potato: White potatoes are good for warts and sties, according to Beard. Use the scrapings of the potato and put it to the area where you have a sty. A sty forms when a hair folicle on your eye gets inflamed. Potatoes are also good for warts because the vitamin C it carries is anti-inflammatory.

Ginger Spice or Peppermint Tea: Good for stomach upsets.

Honey: Beard says honey is an excellent cough suppressant and expectorant.

If there is ever any doubt or concern about a remedy, contact a doctor before using it, Beard recommends.

In the pantry:

Ginger, fresh or powdered

Fruit juice, only naturally sweetened

Garlic

Onions

White potatoes

Oatmeal

Olive oil

Cayenne pepper

Yogurt with live cultures

Black tea bags, such as orange pekoe or Earl Grey

Horseradish or wasabi

Baking soda

Pineapple

Limes

Vinegar

Honey

Parsley

Natural medicinals

• Activated charcoal for food poisoning and gastrointestinal distress
  
  
• Aloe vera gel or juice for minor burns, cuts and scrapes
  
  
• Calendula cream for cuts, scrapes, skin irritations and bruises
  
  
• Chamomile tea, tincture and essential oil for stomachache, insomnia and relaxation
  
  
• Clove essential oil for teething and toothache
  
  
• Fennel tea or seeds for gas and stomachache
  
  
• Lavender essential oil for cuts, scrapes, insect bites, minor burns, insomnia and relaxation
  
  
• Marshmallow tea for sore throats and cough
  
  
• Tea tree oil for nail fungus, yeast infections and acne

Fevers.

Ava's fever peaked around 4am at 101 degrees F. she was SOOO hot to the touch. i stripped her down and used a cool washcloth to pat down her head and body. I don't know how I remembered this waldorf tip.. but put lemon in her socks! i gave her a tiny dose of infant tylenol. she is still warm, but not over 100 degrees now.

Up all night with a sick baby = mommy's heart aching.

i held her for over 3 hours this morning.

she slept on my chest. skin to skin.

my head is throbbing and my eyes are burning. i feel like i need a long cold shower.

i did the nose aspirator thing again. next thing i see is a tiny bit of blood in her runny nose.

throwing nose aspirator thing away.

rubbed vicks baby rub on her chest.

made her cry.

threw that away.

changed her diaper.

dry.

nursed her again.

dry.

dirty bottles. no bottled water.

sent chris to the store.

4 hours later still no chris.

sweaty sick girls with fevers and runny noses.

reality tv.

gross.

microwaved frozen lunch.

gave ava puffs.

she bit her tongue.

crying.

held her.

my lunch is cold now.

so thirsty.

ava is asleep again.

still no chris.

just got a text...

..."want starbucks?"

i fucking love my husband.

A cold has moved into our house

Everyone is sick in our house right now :( mostly miss Ava. she has a really raspy voice from coughing, her nose is super runny and she had a slight fever.

my heart breaks when i see her so uncomfortable.

currently, she is propped up on pillows in the middle of our bed. chris and i are sharing the couch.

ohhh the things you do for your kids.

♥

Will my anxiety go away soon?

I'm going to be very honest and open in this post. It helps to spell out exactly what I am feeling.

Ever since giving birth to Ava I have had moments of intense anxiety. I have to catch my breath sometimes because I get overwhelmed. I have terrible images of something happening to Ava and then what would happen to me after. I've read about new moms hallucinating and having night terrors and even "daydream" about their child dying or being killed or being kidnapped... and just thinking about Ava getting hurt makes me sick to my stomach. I can barely sleep when she is in her crib in her room. all i can think about is someone breaking in through her window and taking her. I have even contemplated sleeping on the floor in her room. Whenever she takes a nap ANYWHERE, even if she doesnt have a blanket or anything near her, I picture her suffocating. Once, I even thought there might be something on the bed that she could breathe in and would get caught in her airway and she would suffocate and die and I wouldnt ever know what happened. I have told chris about my anxiety, and he is very understanding and sensitive about it. But he is sooo much calmer than I am. He NEVER pictures worst case scenario's like that. And now, ever since the day she choked on the barley bar, I find myself having more and more of the mini panic attacks.

Today in the car I was driving along listening to music and I could hear Ava in her carseat playing with her toy. Then we came to a stoplight and I had a bad feeling, all of a sudden without thinking I turned the radio off and spun around in my seat to make sure she was breathing. She was fine! she was sleeping and because i went to check on her so quickly I startled her awake. Is that normal!? To panic, randomly, that your baby stopped breathing or your baby is sick or something?

Its like I have the rational mom on one shoulder and the "everything is going to go wrong mom" on the other shoulder. And i feel at odds with both all the time!

How I feel as a mom is full of contradictions. It makes me so happy and so terrified. It makes me exhausted and energized. Its exciting and scary.

I hope that what I am going through is just new mom jitters and not something more serious.

New Job. New Milestone.

I got a job today! whoo hoo!

I love when I get jobs!

My friend Amber is going to drop her 3 month old daughter off at my house while she goes back to work at a bank. I get to stay home with the girls all day :)

I feel so blessed!

Ava has been really uncomfortable and teething a lot. Her cheeks get so red! I know its not a fever, I dont know why they do that! Anyway, thankfully Ava loves to rest. So we took a 3 hour nap together, then she woke up and played for a little while, then napped again (and i cleaned the house) then she woke up in a great mood and scooted right over to her toy basket and sat there for a while carefully selecting which toys to play with! HOW CUTE!

Then, i see Ava pulling herself up on our entertainment center! she has never done that! conveniently I had my little digital camera in hand and was clicking away. I caught this milestone in action! go mommy :)

I am a little concerned she isnt crawling, but now she is pulling herself up. hmmm...

Scariest moment of my life

This morning was pretty typical... except Ava slept a little longer than usual, probably because she had virtually no naps yesterday (damn teething!).

Anyway, Chris gave Ava breakfast (peaches and oatmeal) and I was on the computer on the couch with my back turned to them.

I could hear Ava playing in her highchair, banging on the tray, saying 'mmmmm'..and then Chris says "ok babe I'm going out to the garage for a little bit"...without looking up i said "k, see you in a sec."

I didnt think to take a look at Ava, because I could hear her in the highchair still banging, what i thought were just her hands, on the tray. Then all of a sudden I hear a gulping noise and a gasp. I spun around really quick and saw Ava gasping for air and a broken "barley bar" teething biscuit in her hand! She was turning blueish purple!!!!! I threw my brand new laptop off my lap and flew toward her. I put my entire finger (down to the knuckle!) down her throat a swooped out a chunk of this biscuit. Ava threw up and was gagging and it scared her so she was still gasping for breath because she was crying so hard. I took her out of the highchair and smacked her little back to get the rest out. More chunks came out along with some mucusy-drool stuff. I blew in her face so she would take a breath and cry.

All of this lasted maybe 10 seconds. but i am telling you, it was the longest..scariest...worst 10 seconds of my whole life.

We both we crying. Chris came running in and I said 'you didnt tell me!!'...which is the worst thing you could say..poor chris...anyway, me and ava are crying and chris is just holding us and saying he will never give her another barley bar again and we're throwing them away and never buying them again.

SERIOUSLY. THE WORST MORNING EVER.

Tumble Time!

Today was Ava's second Tumble time class!

There is a cute little place in Cameron Park and they recently started a mommy n me tumble time class for babies! The floor has springs in it and everything is padded and soft...SO PERFECT for toddling and crawling babies! I love the interaction with the other moms and I also love to see Ava's face light up when she discovers a new thing. We tried out a bungee seat today! (picture 1.) We also played on the trampoline and rolled down a cushioned wedge. Ava got smacked in the head with a plastic maraca... unavoidable when surrounded by active babies.

Ava was, by far, one of the chubbiest babies in the group. Also one of the only babies that wasn't crawling yet. I am hoping by being surrounded by babies on the move, and all of the fun things PLUS the bouncy floor, may just help her crawl soon!

FINGERS CROSSED!

I am also signing her up for swimming lessons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We start those next month!

"She's Smart"

Our pediatrician just told that to me regarding Ava :)

Music to my ears!!!!!!!

To work or not to work...

Until recently I have been working as a nanny and bringing Ava with me. It has worked out great and I loved the extra money to contribute to household things and of course shopping for Ava:)

Now that she is older, and more active, it is going to be harder to find a job where I can bring her. Before I could just put her in the baby bjorn or lay her on a blanket and it was all good!

Because I am still breastfeeding I am hesitant to put her with a babysitter or a daycare for too long.

Thats not my only hesitation.

I don't have anyone available to me to watch Ava daily for 5 or 6 hours at a time for free...and I am not looking for a 40 hr a week job that pays me enough to afford daycare.

We wont be evicted or have our lights turned off if I don't work. We won't completely sink. But I feel like I need to make SOMETHING. Just to take the pressure off Chris.

Of course there are always things I can do to help: Clip coupons, shop at Consignment and thrift stores, sell my clothes, sell Ava's clothes, I could still do facial/body waxing on the side for some extra money...

There is a lot on my mind right now:/

My baby is growing up

This weekend, all of a sudden, Ava has decided she isn't as serious as we all thought and that she wants to be 9 months old right now and play and hit milestones and chew and talk and laugh and SING and try to stand on her feet.

Mommy is struggling with her new found independence!!

i am really enjoying watching her grow and learn and discover things around her. Having a happy, healthy baby is such an amazing blessing. She is the best part of every single day. I am going to miss the infant age, but I am so looking forward to hearing her first sentence, watching her take her first steps and getting her ready for her first day of school.

Being a mommy is soooo emotional. I really take after my Grandmother.

Vida Mia Photo (sneak peek!)

Mothers Day

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

Ava cut her first tooth!!!

I can't believe it!!

Everything is happening so fast!

I am so proud of Ava...She amazes me everyday.

Her little tooth is on the bottom left center. Its sharp and has ridges and its the most perfect little tooth i have ever seen. She has had her fingers in her mouth all day just checking it out. She is especially active and restless today. Still in a content mood thankfully:)

Today was also my Dad's big 50th Birthday Party...Ava was definitely the belle of the ball. She had a crowd around her at all times. She handles strangers and people poking her and pinching her and kissing her chubby cheeks so well. she is such a champ.

I am amazed I get to be the mom of the coolest kid I know.

Damn. A tooth. Awesome! My life will never be boring again will it?!

Vida Mia Photography shoot today!

Even though Ava generally only has one expression when in front of a camera, today's shoot went so well! I was thrilled!

Ava had 5 outfit changes, our photographer Lauren is amazing, her son Liam is adorable and even Chris was getting into it! Ava was clapping and having a blast with Liam and her doll, it was adorable.

After the photoshoot we went out for dinner at Elephant Bar and Ava ate Winter Squash and mommy had a salad and daddy had a burger.

we are so so so blessed.

Mommy Guilt.

The tears have been flowing a lot this week!

Guilt over leaving Ava with a babysitter. Guilt that maybe I smother her? Guilt that maybe I drag her around too much to things Mommy likes to do like restaurants and friends houses.

I feel so overwhelmed. I know I need to take some time for myself and let Ava be home or with a babysitter (its good for her), at the same time i WANT to be with her. She is my favorite person in the world! Other times I really want to be with my friends or go dancing or something, then when I am there all I can think about is Ava and wonder if she is wondering where her mommy is?

OH THE GUILT.

I love my little Fancy so much... I just want to do right by her and my family.

Just feeling so emotional lately.

Communication!!

This is a really exciting time in our house! Ava is really, truly communicating with us. We say "Yaaay" and she claps, we say "Goodbye!" and she waves, I say "Ay-vaahhh" and she says "Maah-Maaahhh"...It is AMAZING!!

She says Mama on a regular basis now, usually in a whining or begging voice. But we are still waiting for "Dadda" to come out of her mouth.

For those of you who know Ava she is slow to warm. She doesnt smile and laugh and entertain like some babies. In fact, she stares you down. Not in a mean way but she does study people and focus very intently on their faces. But when Chris or I walk into a room, she claps and smiles! I can't tell you how that feels. Nothing short of pure joy.

Babysitter vs. Daycare

This is a decision all parents face at one point or another. and I decided to face both on the same day.

Ava is getting more and more mobile everyday so it isn't practical for her to be with me at work anymore. I arranged to have a good family friend, Elaine, watch Ava for a few hours a couple days a week. Today was our first day and it went GREAT. Ava was well rested and happy when I came to pick her up! She had 2 loving women giving her their undivided attention and I felt so relaxed and confident leaving her with them. And not to mention, Ava barely even noticed when I entered the room! She didnt even miss me!

So today I decided it would be a good time to think about joining a gym and taking Ava with me so she can have a little daycare/kid care experience also. Since she did so well, and I felt so confident earlier...what could go wrong?

This is the letter I wrote to 24 Hour Fitness Corporate:

I have been wanting to join a gym ever since I had my daughter who is now 8 months. My husband has worked out at 24 hr fitness for 5 years so I immediately decided I would try it. I called ahead of time letting them know I am considering becoming a member but that the kids club is a make it or break it deal.I got a one day pass.First, I was not greeted, I was hassled about joining and paying on the spot. I was not given a tour or even walked to the kid care room (i had to search for it myself), once inside the kid care room I saw one overwhelmed woman per 10 kids. Video games and TV blaring. Is this where my 8 month old is going to be?

So she brings in one more girl. an 18 year old girl with no certification or any kind of maternal instincts whatsoever. They asked for impersonal information, referred to my daughter as a number and slapped a sticker on her back identifying her. I had tears in my eyes and the two women didnt even attempt to console me. After my 30 minutes on the treadmill (which I had to find and figure out how to use. Not one employee showed me the gym, machines or otherwise) I went back to sign my daughter out. I walked in to see a 2 year old boy sobbing in the corner crying for his mom. The 18 yr old girl was texting on her phone and the other adult woman was holding and playing with my smiley daughter. I immediately ran to the boy and noticed he smelled like a dirty diaper. I alerted both women who acknowleged they smelled something and "maybe we should call his mom".

I stayed until the mom got there to console her son. As I was checking out of the kid care, completely shaken up and frustrated, the woman doesnt update me on how my child did or if she had fun or if i liked my workout. i felt disposable and like "a number" like the one on my child's back. She immediately asked for $4 payment for the 30 minutes. I told her I had a pass and wasnt going to pay. She told me "ok we will see you soon!"...I told her "no, i am not coming back." Neither woman or any other associate tried to make me feel better about my experience. I am going to make sure I let people know about the "kid care" at 24 hour Fitness!! I was appalled.

I was so disappointed. Even though Ava was smiley and doing fine (of course she was, she's confident in her mom's choice in caregivers!)..I just felt the care was below average, at BEST.

what to do, what to do....

Ava's room

Ava can CLAP!!

Ava was on a roll this weekend!

She decided today, not only can she wave but she can clap too!!

Everytime we say "YAAAAY!" she smacks her little hands together (palms open!) and smiles!

The whole not-crawling thing isn't bothering me so much anymore. I am raising a little genius!

So today we went out to breakfast with Grandpa J to MiMi's Cafe in Folsom and grandpa had a lot of fun playing peekaboo with her and bouncing her (hard!) on his knee. he also gave her little yogurt melts to pick up out of his hand and eat. Ava favors her left hand i have noticed...verrrry interesting:)

Then Grandpa, me and Ava went to Babies r Us and walked around and picked up an outfit for Ava to wear to Grandpa's 50th birthday party this weekend.We also bought her a very fun ball with a bunch of holes in it so it is easy for tiny fingers to grab. grandpa bought ava a gorgeous delicate butterfly ceiling hanging thing and also A floaty for babies in pools. its super cute. Grandpa was soooo generous :)

then we had to visit with Lily since she lives in LA and only can visit once every few months.

After a big day driving around we came home and Ava napped in mommy's bed and Mommy updated her blog.

Thats all!!